“Locked down by the Caribbean Sea”. Such an indecent, outrageous statement! Dare I post it? I will. Because the thought process that led me to it echoes questions currently nagging at millions of people as they endure ‘corona-confinement’. Is there anyone around these days that hasn’t reflected on their lifestyle prior to and after coronavirus? Anyone not wondering how to make sure that those long-awaited changes for the better will come about?
I had started that soul-searching myself well before the coronavirus crisis, as early as 2016. I was doing really well. Professional success: check. Exciting trips: check. A worry-free existence in Geneva: check. Plus, a tight-knit circle of friends in my adoptive country, Switzerland, and the love of my relatives and childhood friends in my native Lebanon.
January 2016
A quiet two-week vacation in Barbados is all it took for the Caribbean Sea to cast its spell on me. The dreamy blue of the ocean, the soft white sand beaches where you never feel your feet burning, the kaleidoscope on the wavelets at sunset, a rum-punch sipped at dusk while reggae music plays, I couldn’t remember ever feeling such intense physical contentment. And it clearly stemmed from my new environment. Before I even realized it, a mantra started playing in my mind: when I go home, I want to take this feeling with me.
By the time I was back in Switzerland, I was a changed person, not only re-energized but also haunted by so many insidious questions:
• Do I want to keep living the same life in the years to come?
• Am I travelling on the right track, the one that was dictated by the choices and goals I set when I was twenty years old?
• Has the time not come to pause and make sure I chose the right destination?
• And above all: could a different life begin for me? One that wouldn’t mean turning my back on what I currently love and casting off for good?
This soul-searching went on, relentlessly, for eight months.
Every time I uttered my questions out loud, the voice of reason silenced them. “You’re out of your mind! Here you are at 50, thinking of turning your back on everything, as if you could just start over without huge risks? What are you running away from?” And so on.
But the same two words always overcame any objection: “Do it. Do it. Do it.”
So I decided it was time to act. I wasn’t running away from anything, as a friend and life coach confirmed to me: I was yearning for a new path. Things really started coming together, as if the stars had aligned to steer me towards a new purpose, a new direction. The final push came in Geneva when I met Cecilia who had ties in Barbados: she confirmed I was making the right decision and told me about an apartment within walking distance from my favorite beach and with an affordable rent! Almost too easy. No more excuses.
January 2017
This is it. I sign a six-month-, renewable lease, and start travelling back and forth between there and Geneva so I can keep on working and going on with my life. Hesitantly at first, I take my first steps as a newcomer, and start living the life that motivated this endeavour. Through the eyes of others, I can suddenly see myself without the labels that had long been sticking to me. Being alone a lot allows me to hear an inner voice steering me towards where I really want to go. Immersing in a brand new culture helps me overcome my biases and see the world through a new lens. In short, I am redefining my life at no risk, apart from coming face-to-face with myself.
January 2020
Three years on. I have logged 20 roundtrips between Geneva and Barbados, countless moments of happiness and pleasure, and above all:
• I feel truly alive, fulfilled, resonating with everything around me.
• I feel such exhilaration and pride - “I did it!” – every time I go for my morning swim, with the deep blue Caribbean Sea sometimes all to myself!
• Even when I’m back in Geneva, the sense of contentment never leaves me.
• And, last but not least, my very own website is up and running! OceanInspiration.ch is a site dedicated to taking others along on a close encounter with Barbados culture and to rediscover themselves. It echoes my new life and one of its key results is a tailor-made course for interpreters, “English in the Caribbean”. Both runs in 2019 and 2020 as well as the The "Caribbeanist" Experience seminar organized in Geneva in-between were great cultural successes and human encounters.
The scourge of coronavirus has now reached the shores of the Caribbean. And while going home to Geneva seemed to make sense at first, I’ve come to realize that Barbados now feels like home as well ! If I have to be confined, a chair on my balcony facing coconut trees will beat my apartment in Geneva any time. So here I am, stuck in Barbados, happily sharing the fate of my many new friends, and getting ready to travel back to Switzerland, hopefully soon, to “deconfine” with my beloved friends over there. So I can say it now: I took a gamble and won. I have created a new life which enhances the “old” one without taking anything away from it. I let my enthusiasm take over and “did it” !
Enthusiasm and the coronavirus crisis may not seem compatible at first, but as downtime is forced on us, we might finally heed that little voice at the back of our mind saying, “How about it?”, whispering: “You can try out a different life. One where there’s no need to cast off, throw everything overboard or hurt anyone you love.”
Translated by Edna Setton
April 20, 2020